As you can see, I'm really lost on my Roman Numerals. There must be one that means 50but I'll have to look up. Speaking of not being perfect, what kind of presure do you put yourself under to maintain a flawless personna? Maybe you don't do that.
This blog follows up from last night's in which we considered the question "Who am I?". I have said for years, "I'm not perfect, but parts of me are excellent." While I think it is important to stretch ourselves toward doing life better, we will never hit perfection.
My old Pappy used to say, "If a job is worth doing its worth doing well". I interpreted this to mean when we do something we should commit ourselves to doing as well as we can, according to our ability, and to see the job through. Those of us having depression-anxiety may have trouble carrying jobs/tasks through to completion. We may violate our souls with negative self talk that puts us at risk for self-fulfilling prophecy. Things like this come to mind: "I'm not good at this", I'm not smart enough to do something like this.", "If I can't do a good job maybe I shouldn't even try." "I'm afraid I'll disappoint ________ if I don't do a good job".
Its better to just say "no" than put yourself through a bunch negative mental gymnastics and end up feeling horrible.
Its funny to me how many of us who have mental health difficultiies are perfectionists. I mean, what a trip ... usually a guilt or shame trip. We have fear of not doing a task flawlessly. If you say, "I could never do this job." you are probably right. There is power in our words. We, in many cases get what we say. If our self-talk and the way we talk to others is negative, we may well have a negative outcome. Whereas, if our self-talk and the we talk to others is positive, we may well reap a positive outcome.
We need to train ourselves to be positive (or at least neutral) in all we say. We need to think 'what I say often results in what I get'. Try some positive affirmations:
I am getting better every day in every way.
God is healing me.
My depression-anxiety is getting better
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
Write out some of your own. Talk to yourself. Be the person God wishes you to be. I call it faithful and fallible. We are faithful to what we feel is asked of us, and we agree to do, AND we are fallible as we carry it out. God's measuring stick is faithfulness. The most important thing is that "a servant be found faithful". That is key.
So please take the backpack of perfectionism off your shoulders. Toss it to the ground. Look carefully at the task you wish to achieve. If you don't want to do it save yourself and don't agree to do it! If it is something you really want to do and you basically know how to do it, take it on! Remember to be faithful; see it through. Remember you are fallable and you may not do it perfectly. Drop the backpack!
You are Faithful AND Fallable... not Faithful BUT fallable. The difference is subtile.
Its funny how many of us suffering from depression-anxiety think we can do things perfectly. We can barely do our lives functionally sometimes! Give yourself a break. I don't give advice, but if I did I'd say: 1) talk positively to yourself; 2) talk positively to others; 3) Be faithful in whatever it is you agree to do; Remember you are also fallable and DO NOT APOLOGIZE for that!
You are a precious human being. Don't let perfectionism and negative self talk convince you that you are not. Or as it is succinctly said: "God don't make no junk!"
So with weird Roman numerals, typos, and all...
God bless you... You beautiful soul.