Monday, October 25, 2010

Have you gone Mental? (LV)

Drama. We've all been caught up in it from time to time. He said, she said. "Did you hear..." "What if?" and so on.

Those of us in recovery from depression-anxiety should stay away from drama. Much drama runs along the LINE of truth but tend to slip over the divide fairly easily if it will make the story more sumptuous. What we need to know is this: DRAMA IS A DISTRACTION THAT IS DANGEROUS for us.

There was a man who lived about 2,000 years ago who said, "Let your yes be yes and your no be no". In otherwords, set boundaries... be clear... Avoid drama like the plague because that is exactly what it is. It drains us of energy and sidetracks our recovery. Drama stimulates our depression and anxiety like nothing else when we get involved with it.

The best way to avoid drama is to stay away from involvement in gossip. Set this boundary firmly: "I will not talk about any one else." When they come with a good "did you hear?", say, "I dont want to hear this". The dramatic is scintellating (sp?), it can draw us in very easily. After all, if we get involved, won't we will be able to help the people involved? Very unlikely.

Picture yourself standing on a table. A Drama Queen or a Drama King enters the room with a juicy tidbit. You'd like to help them out of the "quagmire". You reach down to help them up out of the "quicksand". You begin to pull with all your might. What happens? They drag you down off the table with minimal energy. Try it in reality ... the person below ALWAYS pulls the person above down. You then enter the quicksand, too! The relative emotions: You suffer immediate depression and anxiety as a result of your involvement. They become more and more excited because they have aquired another person as a partner in their dramatic interlude. For the recovering person this is unhealthy and stupid (sorry).

Gossip and talking about people is the lowest form of communication. It does nothing but bring harm to the person who is the subject of the talk. That is its bottom line objective. Once again, keep this boundary firm and clear. "I will talk TO someone about a problem that may affect me, but I will NOT talk about a person in any negative manner.

The principle of avoidance as a strategy from our bag of tricks is a pretty good one when needed. Avoidance should be engagement in a healthy activity such as listening to music, yard work, reading, time with a healthy friend, and the like. It is NOT some drama that draws its strength from half truths or lies and is fueled by the negative (and hurt) feelings of others.

Can you hear this? It takes a degree of maturity to leave these things alone. As my theology professor said, "A WORD to the WISE is sufficient".

I'll let a man with a low IQ but tremendous wisdom (Forrest Gump) finish tonight's blog...

"That's all I have to say about that."

Typos and all . . . God Bless you.

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