Monday, October 11, 2010

Hav you gone Mental (XVXIII)

Have you ever felt that your life is spinning out of control? Most of us with mental disorders have felt this way. It seems like we had no part in setting the spin in motiion. If we think awhile we may find the trigger.

One trigger is financial. Many of us have financial problems, especially if we are unable to work at the time. The stress in this case can be absoluely overwhelming. At this time I am still unable to work. We lived off the severence from my job for awhile. We saved some and needed to buy two used cars because our car is being returned to the bank. This type of pressure leads to problems in our intimate relationships.

The number one stressor that results in a couple ending up in divorce is financial problems. It is then we learn that we each have different priorities. It is then we need to be strict with our money, make a budget and live by it. Put some small amount of money away to serve as an emerency fund. We need to prioritize our spending to first pay those things we need to carry on life as usual: food, shelter, clothing, medical problems, and transportation. After that comes your Visa(s), other charge cards and then other bills, The kicker comes when we don't see eye to eye on a budget and the priorities of spending. You MUST move toward agreement for your financial matters as quickly as possible. If not fights will take place that could end up in divorce. So be reasonable and be prepared to have your "sacred cows" killed. According to one man, "Sacred Cows make the best hambergers.

Finally, the aim is build intimacy in your marriage and deepen your friendships. Depression-anxiety sufferers need support. We need a person or persons who can lend an ear when we are going through the worst of times. Mine includes my wife and four other people who "stand" with me in good times and in bad. They are availble to us. Some of us can "stack the team". The optimal situation, between all the members can involved, can result in someone who can be reached each day and night.

Of all those above, we need to keep personal support "nearby". Our support team can help hold us acountable in our financial plans and budgeting, as well as priority bill paying. Don't forget to make contact with them every day ... I do. Share yourself with trusted friends and let them help you.

There is no pill to take to keep our lives from spinning out of control. It happens to the best (and worst) of us. Prepare yourself. Don't let a spinning life become a downward spiral. Stay strong by following these simple principes. You can do it!

At other times the spinning is out of nowhere. We can think of nothing that brought it on. Those of us who have depression-anxiety may find this a frequent occasion. For instance, I wake up every morning with anxiety. It seems to be my experience. After I take my medication, it slowly goes away. Next depresson comes on; I have no explanation for this. I am getting pretty good at using my bag of traicks so I can oftem minimize this problem after awhile. Then thoughout the day either depression or anxiety continue to attack me; Sometimes without warning, other times due to a trigger.

Keep in mind when you have a triggering experience pull out deep breathing and affirmations. Take a walk. Pray and meditate or do other things that work for you. Take yourself in hand. Its not easy. Sometimes riding the wave of depression-anxiety may make us feel good and gratified we are sick after all! Many times we need to tell ourselves that we want to live! We want to be healed! We need to want to be healed to bring healing about. Say to yourself, I want to be healed! I want to live.

This is a good time to talk to one of your supporters...especially if the feeling is accompanied by thoughts of suicide or harming yourself in some way. You need to be able to ascertain if you need your doctor, your counselor, or a person from your support team. When I had my last serious suicide thoughts I held on to them and didn't call a soul (I was very ashamed and got a good tongue lashing when I got better from almost all my supporters.)

Your life is too precious. There is only one of you. Learn to love yourself and those around you. You are lovable and wonderful in your own way. God loves you and values you. Work to feel the same about yourself. Use good affirmations such as "I am a good person.", "I love myself.", My life is precious to God, to others, and to me." You may want to devlope some more.

Please be yourself and love yourself the way you are. I know its a hard assignment, but you can do it!

Typos and all . . . God bless you.

1 comment:

  1. I love the things you write. I love that you're "airing your dirty laundry." Isn't it freeing? I love that you're becoming the person God intended you to we wait together for the grand reveal. You make me want to be healthy even when you're feeling unhealthy. Your words hit my heart. Like I said in the message I left you, via Beth Moore: God will never take you FROM something without leading you TO something. So hang on dad. I'm along for the ride.