How are you? How ya doin'? How are you today? These type of questions are the most feared and/or hated among those who suffer from some kind of mental illness, such as depression and anxiety.
What do you say? How do you answer? Can you answer honestly? "Well, I awaken each and every morning with high anxiety. Later in the day depression sets in. I need to use specific personal interventions to even feel normal, much less healthy. A few times a week I feel as if I can't go on and contemplate suicide. I have to take about 3-4 medications (daily) to keep my head straight; as if that does it! I just want to be alone much of the time and dread conversations with people who ask me how I am."
I guarantee if you answer that way you will probably not get the question again, at least from the same person!
I absolutely hate it whan people ask me how I am, I never use the descriptive, truthful answer (above). "I tend to say "pretty well today", or "I'm getting better", or more truthfully "I have my ups and downs" (my favorite, and true!)
We all need to be careful with our boundaries. Who can be trusted with your personal business?
The boudaries we use are illustrated by "I have my ups and downs", to the paragraph with all the ugly information in it, to slugging the person in the mouth and telling them to mind their own business.
The details ARE NOT any of anyone's business. Blab if you wish, but I can pretty much assure you it will not go well for you in the long run....
Ever heard of gossip (everyone gets to know)?
Ever hear of Job's comforters (the emotions are your fault)?
Ever hear of being told to "get back on the horse" (a person who does not believe in the seriousness and reality of mental illness)?.
Ever hear of "pull yourself up by your own boot straps?" (a person who has never suffered from depression or anxiety).
If I feel this way, why do I write such a revealing blog? I do it because I wish to connect with others who have depression and/or anxiety, to offer some relief from time to time when I share some tidbits from my bag of tricks, AND I'm now 58 years old and could give a rip what people think!
So figure out how strict your boundaries need to be for your OWN mental health and handle conversations appropriately. Remember its no one's business how you are and how you feel until you decide to make it so.
As for me "I have my ups and downs..."
Typos and all ... God Bless You!