Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Have You Gone Mental (77)

Greetings all...
I finally have all the paperwork into the Social Security Administration for them to consider my disability. You may be surprised at this but my depression and anxiety have overcome me so much that I have difficulty performing even menial tasks. Spending in crowds is frightening. Speaking in front of a group is impossible.
Clear thinking is a thing of the past.

As I'm mentioned several blogs ago, a diagnosis of bi-polar disorder has been considered for me. My depresssion is disabling I want to sleep "all the time". Fear strikes at a moment's notice and anxiety shifts into gear. At this point I get frenetic. I want to clean, and do laundry, dishes, etc.

I am working on using the techniques from DBT (Dialectical Behaviorlal Therapy). They have some merit. I can do some of them, but I am far from being able to respond to life as I used to. My Psychologist is orienting me to these methods of healing and I hope it helps.

Many of us feel helpless and hopeless at one time or another. I do not have the corner on this market. I know many of you suffer also and I think of you and remember you in prayers.

The key techniues I'm working on now is doing things with my body movement and/or my hands. Thanks to an old friend I can now go to the gym on a regular basis (My goal is 3 times a week). I like writing, but that keeps me too much "in my head". I play my piano from time to time. I do not do crafts, but nothing beats holding a piece of iron in my hands and curling, military pressing or bench pressing it. It is magical. This is supposed to help me ... Let It Be! Bench pressing is my thing... though I'll never surpass my record of 465 pounds when I was 44 years old. But I digress ...

The idea is to find an actiity that takes me "out of my head". In other words one that takes me out of needing to think and labor over conversation and contemplation.
These too are important, but I think too much and too seriously ... take myself very seriously which is one of my problems. I just need a break from thinking how ill I am in favor of something somewhat mindless to promote my healing. I am committed and resolute to find this healing.

I hope you've taken something from my rambling. Get out of your head!

Typos and all ... God Bless You.

1 comment:

  1. I hear that positive tone that comes with accomplishment. So glad you got everything resubmitted. Praying for you. xoxo