I saw my counselor today and gained some perspective on the last year (+) of my life. I was depressed with serious anxiety beginning (in my memory) around January 2010. This condition affected each area of my life family, work, social, financial etc. I really noticed myself slipping long before I took two months off on leave for mental health reasons.
When I was riffed, it was long after (one year and three months)the beginning of my problems. I need to write the story for myself to address the guilt and shame which is part and parcel of my job loss. I have been ill for a long time and it finally hit me and sent me "down for the count" in January 2011. I enter 2011 having applied for disablity and still concentrating on getting better. I have my ups and downs and hope the ups will outweigh the downs as time goes on. I am still, in some ways, immobilized. I greatly appreciate the prayers and well wishes of many people. I received three wonderful cards, a box of Snickers and a magazine with encouraging stories last week. They really picked me up during a difficult week (the Snickers were a wonderful gift).
As for my story, I don't think I'll blog about the last year of my life and my job loss. This is extremely personal and very difficult to think about let alone write.
I am practicing "radical acceptance" of this loss in my life. I'll let you know how the story goes.
Typos and all ... God Bless You!
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