Friday, April 22, 2011

The Mental Life (5)

The past 7 days have been especially difficult for me. Anxiety and oppressive thinking have been my lot. I don't know what brought this on. It feels like one year or so when I was barely making it day by day. I took a walk yesterday, as I did then and all the feelings returned. I found myself quoting my affirmations as I did then.

My Psychologist and I discussed obsessive thinking and how it keeps me hanging on to anxiety producing thoughts far longer than I was doing just a short month ago. I'm not saying I've completely back-slidden... I haven't. This is a reminder that I have to return to those skills and practices that brought me health and some semblance of wellbeing. How did I forget and neglect these basics? I thought I was progressing far faster than I really am. I guess this is normal or at least wishful thinking. What I've learned this that the need to stay with the basics never leaves... one only neglects them ... to their peril. I'm sorry if this seems overly dramatic. It is not my M.O., just a realistic account of what is happening with me.

I ask for the prayers of all my friends that I may move through this in a life-giving way.

God bless you all...

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